Babsy's Journal

Babsy's Journal

Babsy

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Apples 2 Apples, Dust 2 Dust. [04 Sep 2007|06:08pm]

This afternoon, my apples tried to escape. In transit to my apartment, my bag ripped open and five formerly beautiful apples raced down the hill, attempting to make it home before me. The joke was on them, though--I had the keys.

Along with bruised apples, I now also have aches in my arms and back from carrying a huge brown paper grocery bag filled to the very top with an assortment of vegetables all the way back to my apartment. But! Now my refrigerator is crammed full of eggs! basil! Okra! beans! strawberries! chard! eggplant! and more tomatoes than I've ever had at my disposal in my entire life! What will I do with it, you ask? The truth is--I don't know. So now I'm asking you--what do I put okra in that isn't gumbo? How can I incorporate eggplant in my diet without any added fuss? who will eat all my apples and strawberries before their life comes to an end?

Who knows. But I do know this---things here are good so far. I really like my apartment and roommate, despite the fact that we were awakened last night by a girl screaming for help outside of our apartment. I mean...I didn't think I'd moved into a rough region, but perhaps I am wrong.

School is also good. I have Russian only twice a week, some International Relations classes, and a literature class taught by a professor who thinks Joyce is British. Sigh.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. I am off to my shift at the liberry!

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что у трезвого на уме, то у пьяного на языке. [20 Jun 2007|04:34pm]

[ mood | discontent ]

[ music | AC ]

Q: What has Bridgett been up to since she moved to Pittsburgh?

A:

So I suppose that from this point I am left with two options: I can pretend that telling you I became a wine conoisseur in Pittsburgh is the truth (it would be a much more glamorous truth), or I can tell you what's been up. To be able to truly capture my happenings these past two and a half weeks, there would need to be a photograph of me which somehow depicted my hours of torturous classes, my suffocating homework, and my loss of faith in my intelligence and linguistic abilities. Fortunately, no such photograph exists.

Leaving you with the previous paragraph would cause you to believe that I am very unhappy here in Pittsburgh, and that just simply isn't true. Animal house is a success, the shopping and restaurants are great, and I am soaking up all the tall buildings here that D.C. (and Paris and St. Petersburg) lacks. I go to school in a tower. A cathedral, actually. In two in a half weeks I get to go to school in another tower...the largest in the world, I am told. If I hear the phrase "Old Church Slavonic" one more time, my brain will explode.

Some kids in my class are already starting to lose it and I wonder if they will finish the program. I always wanted to be a writer, you know, but I decided I was too clumsy with my own language and tried to become skilled with others. And now here I am....almost four summers spent studying, studying, studying without a huge margin of progress and to be honest, the lack of warm weather freedom is starting to drive me mad....

Subject: "What the sober man thinks, the drunkard reveals."

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"Only the Dead Stay Seventeen Forever." [30 May 2007|09:55pm]

Tomorrow is my last day in Shepherdstown until August. I guess that's not that big of a deal, but I've never been away from home for 10 consecutive weeks and had to live out of one suitcase, so packing is proving to be interesting. I am getting better at this game, though.

I move to Pittsboigh on Saturday and start school mondee. I am nervous about Russian class, but it'll give me something to do. Currently, I have been passing my time home by writing letters to the editor of our local paper like an old man. But seriously. In my spare time, I have been working at the farm....it's adorable work--planting tiny plants into small pots and watching them grow into something more substantial before putting them in the ground to fend for themselves. I have also taken to working at the farmers market, placing myself in a public town forum, and seeing all kinds of old acquaintances. When I'm not doing that, I have been killing time by running into several old flames, however unpleasant that may be. I have also been making strawberry smoothies like crazy. I haven't been studying Russian though. No sir.

I can't decide whether i'd rather a. serve coffee b. teach kids to read in Anacostia or c. help students with their papers next year. There's time, I guess. But you know. I am sorta looking forward to next semester; it should be much betta.

I think the only stability in my life these days is not having any stability...if that makes sense. so many things have changed so fast, but I just keep moving from place to place. It's decent.

I don't know.

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Ward Circle, Federal Triangle, Judiciary Square. [27 Feb 2007|10:39pm]

[ mood | Wanting Orange Juuuuice... ]

[ music | Lover Lover Lover ]

I just got back from the library, where I was reading endless pages on Alexander III's reign, Nicholas II, and the 1905 Revolt. I didn't get as good of a grade on my history paper as I was expecting. So I am mad at history. At college. At Professor Lohr. But mostly, at my lack of editing of the paper. So I keep reading, and will work harder next time, I suppose.

Things have been really, really good of late. I will be okay, I have decided. I have found a really cool girl from San Francisco to live with in a really nice apartment with a doorman next semester, if all goes well. I will be able to cook my own food! And have dinnah parties. So this is something to look forward to. I like doing this--planning ahead, holding on to my image of the future, and looking at it when I am blue. So it's good.

This summer I am 98% sure I will be returning to Russia. Moscow State University, specifically. I will unfortunately be gone pretty much the whole summer, as before I leave for Moscow I will be in Pittsburgh for five weeks for the first half of the program. But as I said before, I will be okay. And take Russian cooking classes and watch Russian films. With the credits I will earn this summer, I'll be able to start taking French again and return to what started me on this whole International Studies binge.

Initially, I was not sure what turn my life would take past this semester. I have a lot of grey hair now. I wear glasses. I have to be more careful, perhaps stick to what I know. But what do I know? I know that I love this:

But then I realize I will probably live in a depressing and dirty Soviet-style neighborhood. But it's okay. My new perspective is that everything works out. It seems to be so, and it's sad to think of days spent Cray-Z.

Mostly, I just miss Binky. But it's okay, it is almost spring break. Harray.

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Online Love with Logan [18 Feb 2007|04:28pm]

[ mood | geeky ]

[ music | Rilo Kiley ]

Questioning what he did last night:
Polkadotragedy(3:58:23 PM): why were you up till 3?
zappaman112 (3:58:37 PM): i accidentally watched 3 episodes of "The L Word"

There is suddenly a lull in conversation:
zappaman112 (4:08:28 PM): i have a leg doctor appointment TOMORROW!
zappaman112 (4:08:36 PM): he will cut open my lef
zappaman112 (4:08:38 PM): leg*
Polkadotragedy (4:08:58 PM): is this true?
zappaman112 (4:09:46 PM): I have an eye doctors appointment TOOMORROW
zappaman112 (4:09:53 PM): he will cut open my eye

Logan showing some curiosity about my life:
zappaman112 (4:18:41 PM): did brain see you today?
zappaman112 (4:18:49 PM): im sorry "brayn"

Response to asking if my mom was home:
zappaman112 (4:19:35 PM): mom says "we are going to target, and that she forgot about you"
zappaman112 (4:19:42 PM): and "did not miss you at all".
zappaman112 (4:20:16 PM): later
zappaman112 (4:20:25 PM): and that is the opposite of what mom saisssddd

Mostly, I wonder what Logan's deal is. Also, I miss that kooky kid.

It's becoming more and more apparent to me that my dad is more involved in activities at AU than I am. It's getting pretty embarassing. The last time I talked to him on the phone he was telling me about plans he's made with Eco-Sense, the environmental club on campus. Also, he keeps asking me questions about NCOR, which just makes me laugh. Oh boy.

I have a midterm (WTF?!?!?) tomorrow in Microeconomics and I am scared. I have a paper due and a test on tuesday, and a Russian test soon after. I can't wait to be done with this week and one day, I will be so relieved.

But as of now, I am so tired....

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[26 Dec 2006|06:48am]

[ mood | predatory ]

Post December, I not much of a fan of winter. Currently, I am trying to savor the last few days of one of my favorite months, but I am not so sure how a person goes about doing that. My course of action has been to sleep really really late everyday and hang around in my pajamas until an embarassing hour. But really, if the weather continues to be this mild perhaps I will be a bigger fan of january.

Christmas was dec. I carefully mapped out for my mother the books I wanted but of course she went off course and I ended up with some duplicates. And I feel bad, because she put forth a lot of effort to get those books for me, such as special ordering and all that hoopla. Also, I was unaware that so much merchandise with owls on it existed. I currently have two pairs of boots which I have been told will last me the rest of my life, which for some reason makes me uncomfortable. A lifetime commitment at this age? I'm not so sure. And I mean, what if they don't? And I've placed all kinds of hopes in these boots! What a disappointment.

I'm having my eyes examined tomorrow. I am secretly worried that perhaps I dont have eye woes and more like...awareness woes. I am also worried about not having my eyesight to blame things on anymore, like when I misread something or dont recognize someone right away. Hrmph.

I want baked goods and the bakery is closed! What nerve! I also have a cold and a nose ring, I hate this.

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[14 Dec 2006|02:05pm]

Have you ever been so tired you actually look different? Yeah. Well, that's where I am right now. Two hours of sleep after a night spent locked in a study room with two friends cramming for Macroeconomics, taking the crucial exam at 8 in the morning, shelving and organizing books in the library for five hours, furiously writing my research paper, and preparing for tomorrow's written AND oral Russian exam has left me a mess. I'm sure others have it worse, but man, am I tired tonight.

Tomorrow I return to the town of Shepherds. For a whole month. How exciting. Nothing to do but read, read, read. Hurrah! And of course, see those who I am crazy about.

I would like someone to come here and rub my tummy. It would make everything so much better, I know.

I will be sad to leave DC for a month, I know. Which is a good feeling. I have found a niche here and am happy. And that's wunderbar, methinks, as I'm sick of being uncomfortable. Next semester has promises of better classes and a better schedule. I'm all about it. Word.

I think I need to just sleep. Yes. No more cleaning, just sleep.

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Nineteen. [30 Nov 2006|01:12pm]

[ mood | drained ]

So yes. Tomorrow is my nineteenth birthday (and Woody Allen's 71st, everyone wish him well), and so I suppose some reflective-bull-shitty post is in order, with all sorts of profound insights and confessions. So here it goes:

I think that it would be a stretch to say my nineteenth year was less than satisfactory. The space between eighteen and nineteen was filled with incredible highs, sickening lows, and life defining decisions. My three hundred and sixty-five days can be measured in HAIR parties, an overload of stress, skipped school days, apple pies, drives to jefferson in Nana, cooking, long walks both alone and with company, an oral surgery, unexpected turns, holes dug from Rehoboth to China, gambling at the track, cigars, good news, missing a transatlantic flight and being stranded in Queens, reunions, absurdly high and unworthy expectations, sushi on the wall, vodka, a constant feeling of nervousness, being completely and utterly lost and confused in a cold Slavic nation, sunburn, vaccinations, leaving West Virginia only to return at any opportunity, crazy city adventures, moronic decisions, fascinating people, sadness, an overwhelming feeling of loneliness, and finally--adaptation. I have been hurled to the very bottom of an emotional hole, gotten stuck on memories while climbing back up, but persevered and pulled myself out of self doubt and deprecation. It's been a hard year, but it was completely necessary. I'd like to think I hit the worst, but to me the scariest part is realizing I haven't, and that things can and will get tougher. I will get tougher.

I am excited to turn nineteen, as I've always thought it to be a sexy age. No reason why.

So here's for the confessions:

1. I am deathly afraid to drive on highways anymore. I'm not sure why, but I am more frightened of that than anything these days. I might have to do some highway driving tomorrow and I fear I will have a panic attack of sorts. I'm not kidding, it's a real problem. I will work on this, though
2. I can't see worth a damn anymore. I don't recognize anyone and can't read street signs. I must rectify this.
3. I complain about being alone a lot, but I do it to myself. People do like me, I've just been dodging relationships and I don't know why.

Yesterday my mom came to DC and we went on a date. We went to the art theatre (it shows artsy movies and displays all kinds o' artsy shit on the walls) on E street, and as we were walking in a homeless man holding a trombone approached me, extended his pointer finger in my face's direction, and said "You don't know shit! You can't talk music and you're just dumb!!". I kept walking after this, but my mother was thrown. "He doesnt know you! how could he make an assumption like that!" I laughed so hard at that....it's funny, receiving random insults from deranged homeless men on the street doesnt phase me in the least. Also, my mom is so adorably naive. We had a ritzy dinner in Dupont, then ma gave me my presents (including a plant for my room, which was a wonderful idea) and left.

I leave for Morgantown tomorrow with Claire, but not before I go to American Apparel and buy a unitard for her....I'm not sure why she needs one, but I get out of class before her so I agreed to run the errand. She said I could buy myself something with her credit card, strongly suggesting that I chose a unitard as well. She claimed she wanted us to wear them to girl talk together...i looked at her for a moment, and then we both exploded with laughter. I am so excited.

We fly head first into December tomorrow, kicking off the holiday season with 70 degree weather, as it usually is on my birthday. So i leave you with this:

The man farthest to the right is my grandfather. The fourth women to his left with her head tilted back is my grandmother. The man in the middle is Mark Felt.....DEEP THROAT!!!! He worked with my grandpa in the FBI and was their neighbor. My mom's first editing assignment out of college was to edit Mark Felt's book...the one about how he wasnt deep throat.....

And so it goes. I apologize for the sickening and sentimental bits, but in one hour it's my birthday, so whatevs.

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The sight of Bridge(tt)s and Balloons makes calm canaries irritable.... [19 Nov 2006|01:10pm]

West Virginia came to DC for a weekend. Less than that, just a day really. Despite minor grievances (lost keys, lost kids on the metro), a good time was had. I swiped ten people into the Terrace Dinning Room and we had a whole table in private dinning dedicated to West Virginians, much to the sassy cafeteria lady's chagrin. Dylan stayed until today, and we spent the day in museums as well as consuming mochi and bubble tea ("you trendy fuck, this is terrible! I think I'm gonna VOM!"). I'm not as lonely here as I was initially, but I am very sad to have no one sleeping below my bed tonight.

Joanna Newsom was beautiful...both her and her show. Dylan said it's in his top three of 'best shows' he's ever seen...but I have no such list so I cannot rank it. She slipped away so quickly at the end, right before midnight, that I joked she had some sort of cinderella contract which forced her to be back in elf land before midnight. I swear, she was so small it looked like that harp could easily kill her.

Tomorrow I am going ice skating in the sculpture garden on the national mall and hopefully ingesting some gelato....I promised my companion espresso, but as I was saying it I was also thinking "What's your deal, Bridgett? You have never drank espresso and liked it, so just tell her you want ice cream and not coffee!". Ha.

Home so soon. I haven't been back for almost a month now, which is weird because for awhile I was going back all the time. I have all kinds of homey things I want to do, but I have three papers due, one on the international relations strategies used in dealing with the war in Yugoslavia in 1991, one on globalization, and one on agoraphobia (which of these do not belong?). And I just want to bake pie. I should have stuck to the life plan I constructed when I was six, which was to go to Shepherd, major in home economics, live in Gardiner hall, and have piles of kids. That lifestyle is more conducive to pie baking. I mean, why did I want to move to D.C. and study foreign politics anyhow?

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Sitting here beneath this harsh November Sky... [12 Nov 2006|12:23pm]

[ mood | nervous ]

Goodness. I feel that this weekend was crazy enough to compensate for three months of relatively calm weekends spent here in the district.

On friday I got invited to a party in a penthouse hotel suite on the Georgetown waterfront (aka the most beautiful slice of G-Town) hosted by a swarm of overwhelmingly generous Turkish men. Since Georgetown is not accesible by metro, Mustafa picked me and Graciela up in his fancy car with a license plate stating the word "Turkish". After a huge amount of essentially reckless driving ("Don't worry, I Turkish, I know what I doing") down Nebraska we arrived to a party for which I was shamelessly under dressed. There was, however, an open bar with a bartender kind enough to give me an entire bottle of wine which I drank in an enormous and elaborate bathtub lacking water in the company of a boy from Georgetown University who was shocked to find out I was from West Virginia. "You, Miss Bridgett, are an ANOMALY" was the phrase of the evening, I do believe. The party was catered by one of the best middle eastern restaurants in the city, so basically I've reached my hummus quota for the month of November.The party then progressed to a boat house on the potomac, but I requested a ride home at that point, as I was not up to endless partying and was not feeling so well, to be honest. Gah, I felt like ridiculous Eurotrash!

Then Saturday. I won't say much about Saturday. Celebratory mimosas and dinner in a restaurant deliciously reminiscent of Europe located in Adams Morgan was all fine and good. But! probably the scariest moment of my life occurred later on, during which I wasn't sure whether to throw up, cry, or both. All I could think of was how I had potentially ruined everything, and how I'd be dragged back to West Virginia, possibly sentenced to finishing my education at Shepherd, if I was lucky. I don't think I'll recount the details of this incident past HAIR, but just know even more of my hair turned gray.

So yes. I am tired and overwhelmed. I am also excited about: Joanna Newsom, Thanksgiving break, and my birthday weekend. Hurrah Hurrah!

Can't wait till next semester. Exciting classes coupled with a better approach to everything than last semester. I started out on the hopelessly wrong foot and it's taken me weeks to rectify it. But until then, a suffocating amount of work is necessary to finish everything. Bleh.

"Just give me November, the warmth of a whisper...."

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